I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
