Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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