Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
