Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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