come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
