this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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