So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
