What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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