I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
