Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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