Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
