Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
