it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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