what day is it and did you see me today?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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