Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
