wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
tell your sister to shave her snatch
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
3pm strippers are depressing
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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