One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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