So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
