Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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