Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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