So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
