first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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