What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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