is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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