Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
