where does the pee come out of this thing
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
