Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
