just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
