I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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