I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
