Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You may now shotgun with the bride
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
