Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
