that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
