Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis

Fav 19 4772 804
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on

Fav 14 4503 938
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(630): View more from Illinois

He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.

Fav 13 1327 6223
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(913): View more from Kansas

his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

Fav 21 1381 8352
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(770): View more from Georgia

He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.

Fav 9 3584 1105
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(810): View more from Michigan

I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.

Fav 5 1334 2065
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(512): View more from Texas

Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you

Fav 4 1106 661
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(219): View more from Indiana

are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?

Fav 2 357 224
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(719): View more from Colorado

If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?

Fav 0 109 20
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