I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
