Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
