this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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