Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
