I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
