Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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