There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
