Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
