I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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