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And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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