At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i need to put some appletini on your dick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
