"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He told me they were just razor bumps!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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