I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize