Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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