I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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