My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
